Sunday, November 30, 2014

Why is Waar a Poor Propaganda Flick

Being a movie buff, I could not ignore the hype of a Pakistani movie rated 9/10 on imdb.com. So, I bought this DVD of Waar as soon as I saw the poster of its availability on a local shop. Cutting the chase, there was I watching it while a similar Islamabad fiasco of Imran Khan was being unfolded on 13th August; Superb choice on Independence Day?

To my disappointment, the opening scene of the movie was so substandard that a movie rated 3 on imdb would be better off. Two men in an interrogation room were having the sacks removed from their heads. And lo and behold it seemed like the guy just exited a saloon after a perfect haircut, freshly trimmed beard and even whitening powder applied on his face. The much-talked about ‘talented’ young director could do better than that. Anyways, at last I was watching the most awaited movie, which is, in fact, an epic amalgamation of official Pakistan studies curriculum and popular conspiracy theories – surely what more could be expected from an ISPR production.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Pakistan: An interactive guide for Hollywood and Bollywood Movie Makers

IT is often very funny to see the international media, especially TV and Film Industry, portaying Pakistan as some country where women are covered in black overalls or shuttlecock burqas, people having beards and no moustaches with a checkered cloth over their shoulders, riding donkeys, wiping their behinds with stones, narrow streets, dusty roads, people speaking Arabic, goats on highways, people travelling in Jeeps and 70s Trucks.

In Pakistan, people think that it is a western conspiracy against them. To me it is sheer ignorance and laziness on the behalf of TV and film industry. One could see the example of this, recently, when fourth season of a TV Series, Homeland started airing. Where Islamabad is shown as some dusty city with narrow streets, people speaking wrong Urdu, everyone bearded, Americans walking in Miran Shah without being noticed, Taliban commanders having sex with their wives in the presence of a guest in the exact room. Similarly, in the movie Zero Dark Thirty, common people were shown speaking Arabic in Pakistan (Not 1% of the population speaks Arabic in Pakistan.) I do not take any pride in Pakistan being a modernised country. It is not a symbol of development to me. However, if you consider that you can depict Pakistan with some orientalist mindset as a completely backward, tribal, under-developed country of retards, you would be very wrong there bro! It is called cultural ignorance. And this mindset is not only targeting (purposefully or unconsciously)  Pakistan, but also Iran and Middle East.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Another Open Letter to Imran Khan

Imran Khan claims that UK government allows similar protests like his "dharnas." A friend from Australia wrote a letter to UK Prime Minister to ask whether they allow such protests or not. This is the reply he received from Home Department alongwith his own open letter to Imran Khan.

Warning: If you are a die-hard PTI fan and like all other PTI fans you cannot face criticism and start showing following symptoms, you are warned again. Do not proceed! Any harm or injury caused to yourself or people around you will be solely your own responsibility.

Verbal Diarrhea (Very Important), Rectal Burns, Acute Delusion Disorder (ADD), Palpitation, Shortness of breath, Swelling, Redness, Chest Pain, Itching (especially the one to carry a weapon), Bumps

Chairman PTI,
Mr Imran Khan,


Dear Mr. Khan,

I hope you are doing well and your health is good.

Upon your repeated blatant and nonsensical claims about the disruptive and destructive dharnas, and the violence that they have resulted as being constitutional and that "Even in Britain such demonstrations are people's constitutional rights", I finally decided to clear the matter once and for all- for the rest of the nation. As for you, I am sure you already know you are doing wrong when you are inciting people to violence. A decent man with any sense of respect and integrity and above all, some common sense would not incite people to violence, vandalism and breaking law as you have been doing for last couple of months. But then , if you were that sensible, why would you be doing all that in the first place?

I already knew that your argument "Even in Britain such demonstrations are people's constitutional rights", was nonsensical as would anyone with any degree of intelligence, but I did what I did, just to complete the loop and provide everyone with an undeniable proof,that inciting people to such rioting,vandalism, hooliganism, had you done this in United Kingdom, and breaking law and thug behavior like bringing cranes to crash gates, attacking and vandalizing TV station, or unlawfully entering parliament grounds ,could have likely/possibly resulted in your arrest, prosecution and if found guilty, imprisonment for upto ten years.

In order to clarify the matter, I wrote to the Prime Minister of United Kingdom about how such "Demonstrations" are conducted in Britain and what are the rules and laws that govern such demonstrations.
In response, the Home Office replied on his behalf and here is the full letter. Since you suffer from lack of intelligence and attention to detail, I have highlighted the parts which you are likely to miss.

I am very well aware and cognizant that you and your zealots will simply continue to be in denial, but nevertheless,for rest of the nation, this letter seals your rants to be nothing but a blatant lie.

While I am here, I would like to clear one more matter. Some people are claiming that you are a cocaine addict. I think it would be good for you to deny that categorically. Would you be happy to be randomly tested for drugs?

PS: If Amir Dogar is your "Naya Pakistan", then I am way better off with my "Old Pakistan".
Your Sincerely

Dr Muhammad Umer Shehzad
Australia (*)










* Blogger's Note: This will be another reality shock for PTI fans but please note that not all expat Pakistanis necessarily belong to PTI.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Khan's Concerns Vs Khan's Demands

Source: http://i.dawn.com/primary/2014/07/53c388654494e.jpg

Imran Khan's concerns are not at all wrong. He may be right about many things. He may be right about corruption. He is right about conflict of interest. He is right about nepotism. He is right about tax evasion. He is right about Nandipur project. He is right about hooliganism of Punjab government. He may be right about rigging as well.

However, his demands are not political. PMLN, regardless of everything won public mandate, whether he likes it or not. The electorate is uneducated. The politicians are enslaved in feudal setup. Nepotism is part of our culture. Even his party had nepotism related vibes. Corruption is an old disease. It cannot be cured in a single day. Democracy is a slow process. People cannot be educated or liberated from this setup at once. Rome was not built in a day. The people joining him in this march are purely rejected lot or religious elements having a bad track record. Those taking sides with him is a thing of grave concern. The protest seems purely derailing towards peace and stability and hence democracy.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Gaza Siege to Israel’s Isolation! Just a matter of time?

The world is being completely asymmetrical in the terms of peace. Middle East, Eastern Europe and Africa are struck with wars. Hatred is rampant. Violent political ideologies are mushrooming from every nook and corner of the world. More wars with more hatred and more bloodshed would be the ultimate folly at this time. More chaos is the last thing humanity can afford!

Gaza is not only about Muslims anymore. It was and it is about humanity. Gone are the days when millions of people could be massacred, pogroms be run, apartheid be nationalized and nobody would know. This is the world with information age. Nothing dreadful or inhumane can be kept hidden behind anything. Even corporate media cannot control the information dissemination. Despite all its ills, social media has completely changed the scenario of access to information. It has changed the way war crimes could be hidden. Social media is also becoming a strong support for electronic media, not only in the terms of marketing but also as an information and opinion resource. The free speech on social media has considerably affected the media aspect of international politics and peace promotion. This evolving and new budding dimension of media has affected the recent episode of Gaza conflict as well. In 2008, for example, when social media was not much popular, the war couldn’t get the needed coverage. While, now, in 2014, despite of strong Israeli propaganda to cover the brutal side of the war, word got out.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

In reply to the Ignorance of Mubashar Lucman

The following verses are from chapter 1, poem 10 from Saadi's Gulistan (Bostan). They resemble a hadith. Somebody ask Mubashar Lucman to issue a fatwa on Saadi Shirazi. 

بنى آدم اعضای یک پیکرند
که در آفرینش ز یک گوهرند
چو عضوى به درد آورد روزگار
دگر عضوها را نماند قرار
تو کز محنت دیگران بی غمی
نشاید که نامت نهند آدمی

Human beings are members of a whole,
In creation of one essence and soul.
If one member is afflicted with pain,
Other members uneasy will remain.
If you have no sympathy for human pain,
The name of human you cannot retain.


Many folklores and metaphors are same in many cultures. Khalil Jibran has rewritten many such stories in his own words. Paulo Coelho has rewritten many. Many stories of Quran are already present in other previous cultures. In Zoroastrian religion of Persia dating back to 7th century BCE, even before Judaism and Christianity, one can find many similar stories. The concepts in Abrahamic religions of 7 heavens, God and Satan, Virgin Birth, Head covering, Renovation and judgment are highly influenced from this ancient persian pagan religion. There are many stories in Quran which are also present in Bible and old testament with great variations. Should a blasphemy case be filed against Zarathustra, St Paul and Rabbi Juda Hanasi? What an ignorant ass this Mubashar Lucman is!

(The above verses are displayed in the entrance of the United Nations Hall of Nations as Saadi's poetry and not as a Hadith. Charge UN for blasphemy too?)

Friday, May 16, 2014

Geo/ARY Case: Blasphemy laws for corporate agendas and state sanctioned persecution after religious persecution and personal vendettas.

It was a very sleepy morning. Cool breeze would'nt let me get up from bed any time earlier. As per my bad habit, after shutting down my alarm I opened my twitter and fb apps and saw this torrent of anger against Geo on twitter feed and facebook timeline. I was completely confused as to what sinister act has Geo committed now?

Digging it deeper, I found out that a Qawali was played in some morning show at Geo on a virtual wedding that our brother Mubashar Lucman inherently disliked and didn't hesitate to show it to his viewers on ARY TV. What was that Qawali? Then there was this Sunni Itehad council issuing fatwas against Geo, filing cases and petitions and I saw my Shia friends relatively more hyper than Sunni friends on their timelines. It seemed a serious condition.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Arabisation or Westernisation; what are we really victim of?


The problem with the critics who call Pakistani progressive thinkers desi liberals is that they ignore many dimensions of a single problem. They see things in black and white. When a progressive person speaks about the horrors of Arabisation, they suddenly come up with the pictures of Pakistani youth wearing jeans and using mobile phones and remind them of western imperialism.


Let us bust this myth today. First of all, let's define Imperialism. Edward Said, a famous anthropologist and academic defines imperialism as any system of domination and subordination organized with an imperial center and a periphery. There are two major types of Imperialism. Regressive and Progressive Imperialism. Then there is colonialism but let's not confuse it with imperialism because it is just for territorial control and/or commercial aims coupled or not with imperialism. Now there have been many kinds of imperialisms in the history. Ottoman/Turkish, German, British and Tsarist Russian and now this Arab. Arabia is a vast land comprised of multiple cultures from Morrocco to UAE including completely versatile cultures like Jordan and Oman. However, when we talk about Arabisation, we are talking about imperialism, centred in Saudi Arabia. A recent article written by Abdul Majeed Abid [1], one finds the summary of the events stating how Abdul Wahab convinced Al-Saud to declare Salafiism as a state religion. What followed next is more proof. Now this was the result of a pact signed between Al-Saud and Wahab where the king promised to expand that religion across Arabia and all over the Muslim world by whatever means necessary in 1744 [2]. Abdul Wahab was a Hanbali mufti and so was his father and he was largely influenced by the teachings of Ibn Taimiya, the same Imam who completely shut down the chapter of Ijtihad and declared that everything should be Islamised according to existing knowledge and no new knowledge will be incorporated in Islam. Does one see why we still fight over Tooth Brush and Miswak? I know many have a positivist view and they will dismiss this example and my argument on the grounds that there are many scholars who have no problem with toothbrush but this is not actually the case. They still are convinced otherwise and would tell you to prefer Miswak. Those who actually believe in the same like Dr. Farooq Khan and Javed Ghamidi are either murdered or in exile due to their “unorthodox” views. A friend of mine who is an MPhil in Biochemistry from a top university of Pakistan and a forensic scientist in ministry of defence keeps Miswak in his pocket and claims that it has more benefits than tooth paste.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

The Challenges to Feminism in Pakistan

Many of my feminist friends got offended by this post and I was bashed being politically incorrect on the notions of patriarchy and feminism. But Readers are the real judge. Please feel free to comment. I am embedding the facebook post as well.

The original post was;
"In our middle and upper middle class households, women are quite empowered. No matter if they are educated or not. What they need is a husband, kids and an eventual control on the family being a boss all the time. This is a cultural reality. This is not Stockholm syndrome. It is very much of a conscious choice. My feminist friends may call it typical behavior but these women do not see it in any clash to their rights. In conservative households of KPK, one finds matriarchal setups in majority of the families. Majorily there are only the young girls who suffer from any negative consequences out of this family system in more conservative families. Although the misogyny in the society at other places like workplaces, educational institutions and community centers is very much a reality."

مولانا طارق جمیل کی خدمت میں کھلا خط

آج کل آپ کی تعریف میں کافی قصیدے لکھے جا رہے ہیں اور ہر دوسرا کالم نگار حضرت کی عامر خان کے ساتھ “انٹریکشن” کو بیان کرتا پھرتا ہے۔ میرے کچھ سوالات ہیں اور کچھ اعتراضات۔ جن دوستوں نے مولانا کی ویڈیو دیکھی ہے وہ جواب دے سکتے ہیں۔

 پہلا تو یہ کہ آپ کو اخلاقی طور پر بالکل بھی زیب نہیں دیتا تھا کہ وہ ایک شخص کے ساتھ اپنی ذاتی انٹریکشن کو پبلک میں اسکی اجازت کے بغیر بیان کر رہے ہیں۔ دوسری جس بات پر مجھے اعتراض ہے وہ یہ ہے کہ آپ کے ہر لفظ سے ایک خدائی غرور جھلک رہا ہے اور آپ کسی صورت بھی عامر خان کو اپنے آپ سے بہتر انسان سمجھنے کے لئیے آمادہ نہیں ہیں نہ تو فلمی شعبہ کے حوالے سے اور نہ ہی دینی شعبے کے حوالے سے۔ جبکہ مسلسل اس بات پر بھی اشد اصرار کر رہے ہیں کہ وہ ایک اہم آدمی ہے اور اس سے ملاقات کو باعث تفاخر بھی سمجھ رہے ہیں جیسا کہ عموما تبلیغی حضرات کرتے ہیں۔ سعید انور، یوسف یوحنا سے سلطان گولڈن اور شاہد آفریدی تک کی سیلیبرٹیز آپ لوگوں کا ٹریڈ مارک بن چکی ہیں اور باقاعدہ طور پر خواص میں جرنیلوں، بڑے گورنمنٹ آفیسروں اور اہم سیاستدانوں کے ہم پلہ ہی اہم جگہوں پر ایڈورٹائز کی جاتی ہیں۔

 مولانا آپ کو یہ بھی برا لگ رہا ہے کہ آپ عامر خان کی “حرام” فلم کی کامیابی کے لئیے کیونکر دعا فرمائیں۔ اسکے ساتھ آپ اسکا دل بھی نہیں دکھانا چاہتے۔ لیکن ایک مجمع میں یہ بات کر کے اپنی بڑائی بھی بیان کر رہے ہیں۔ حضور اب اگر عامر خان آپ کی یہ گفتگو سنے گا تو آپ کی کیا عزت رہ جائے گی؟ مجھے ایک دو دفعہ آپکو ڈائریکٹ سننے کا اتفاق ہوا ہے، اگر آپکے مقلدین نصرت جاوید کی طرح مجھے بھی نہ رگڑیں تو ایک عرض کروں؟ آپ کے لہجے میں مجھے شیرینی، محبت اور نصیحت کبھی نظر نہیں آئی۔ بلکہ رعونت، غرور، تکبر اور خدائی جلال کی نقل اور شور ہی نظر آیا ہے۔ جبکہ آپ اور آپ کے ہم پلہ و پیالہ فرماتے ہیں کہ تکبر خدا کو پسند نہیں۔ 

 برائے مہربانی لوگوں کے تقویٰ کا فیصلہ خدا پر چھوڑ دیں۔ مزید براں، آپ نے اپنی MBBS کی ڈگری چھوڑ کر کسی پر احسان نہیں فرمایا۔ ایک غریب آدمی ایسا نہیں کر سکتا، جو اپنی دیہاڑی، ریڑہی اور نوکری چھوڑ کر سہ روزوں، چلوں اور سال کے دوروں پر جاتے ہیں، انکی نہ تو جائیدادیں ہوتی ہیں اور نہ ہی اہل و عیال کے کفیل۔ وہ اپنی آخرت کے چکر میں کافی لوگوں کی دنیاوی پریشانی کا باعث بن رہے ہوتے ہیں۔

 والسلام،
 ایک خیر خواہ
 عاکف خان



Monday, November 11, 2013

ذاتی رائے

عاکف خان


اس وقت ملک کی دگرگوں صورتحال میں مہنگائی، غربت، تعلیم، دہشت گردی، بھوک اور لوڈشیڈنگ سے بالاتر دو مسائل ہیں جن پر ساری قوم غوروغوض کرنے میں مصروف ہے۔ میںنے سوچا میں بھی موقع سے فائدہ اٹھاؤں۔ تمیزالدین رپورٹ کی گریٹ ڈیبیٹ "کون کافر ہے اور کون مسلمان" کو درمیان میں چھوڑ کر قوم اس وقت ایک تو اس قومی ڈیبیٹ میں مشغول ہے کہ کون شہید ہے اور دوسرا مسئلہ ہے اظہار ذاتی رائے کا۔

میری ذاتی رائے کے مطابق ذاتی رائے ایک انتہائی واضح معانی کا حامل ایک لفظ تھا۔ لیکن گزشتہ کچھ عرصے سے اس بے ضرر لفظ کا انتہائی جارحانہ استعمال شروع کر دیا گیا ہے۔ آپ کسی سیاسی جماعت کے سربراہ ہیں اور آپ کوئی بھی بیان داغ دیں- اگر وہ موافق نہ آیا تو آپ کے اہلکار اسکو آپ کی ایک ذاتی رائے قرار دے کر آپ کی جان چھڑا دیں گے۔

Charachteristics of a Patriotic Pakistani Mard-i-Momin


Why is it that I found most of the people in Pakistan with this same profile. They believe in following things unanimously.

1. Imran Khan is the hope and he will bring the change.

2. There are Good Taliban and Bad Taliban.

3. Good Taliban are very peaceful and they just goto Afghanistan to fight US.

4. Bad Taliban are RAW/CIA agents.

5. We need Shariah in Pakistan.

Monday, September 23, 2013

My white paper on PTI's 100 days performance in KPK

The night of the election, I was thinking only one thing; which party to vote? My whole family was going
for PTI. Already having tested PMLN and PPP, they had no other option. On ideological grounds, I wanted to go for left, i.e. ANP or AWP. But there was no candidate contesting on their behalf. All four of the candidates of PMLN and PPP were not the people with good history. And unfortunately to my dismay both of the PTI candidates were good reputed and educated people. So it was quite a distress for me and I was still indecisive when I went to bed.

In the bed I had been thinking  the same things. I knew my vote was not a big deal. But I had heard that every vote is important and it counts and it is one's duty to cast it. On the other hand I had no choice but to vote for Khan. I have no personal problems with Khan. But the way he showed dreams to Pakistani youth and people was very unrealistic for me. I have strong reservations towards his narcissism, his affiliations with Jamat i Islami, his weird interpretations of Iqbal's poetry, his Modoodian version of Sharia' (same as that of Zia ul Haq), his hatred towards liberals (his hypocrisy, because he has remained the same in his youth,) and his habit of boasting high. I did not want to give the future of my children in this man's hands.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Deeyat Laws: Social Impact of the level of strictness in laws; A Discussion


When Shahzeb Khan's family granted pardon to their son's murderer, whole nation came to utter shock. This was one of the most fought causes by civil society and people from all professions and backgrounds on the basis of barbaric show of feudal power. In the aftermath of the murder, which was committed by son of a very influential person of Sindh, people went in streets, protested and started mass movement with support of media to put the culprit behind the bars. 

Shahzeb was killed in cold blood because of saving honor of his family when the servant of this politician's son was bullying his sister despite of several warnings and he asked him to stop. The murderer, Shahrukh Jatoi out of vanity went after Shahzeb, they fell into arguments and Shahrukh and his friend opened fire on him. Shahzeb, young and educated person, belonged to a upper middle class family. However, after Sharukh tried to escape from Pakistan, was caught in UAE and was brought back. He was prosecuted in criminal court as well as Anti Terrorism Court. It was kind of Jessica Murder Case of Pakistan. 

Friday, September 13, 2013

Previews from Interesting Recent Scientific Advances

1) The World of Wonderful Mathematics

Source: cliffmass.blogspot.com
This one I happened to see on Scientific American blog and is quite interesting. Starting from a comment on an Onion News (Satirical News Emag) article on 27 new functions in trigonometry, author Dr. Evelyn Lamb, University of Utah introduces to 10 unheard functions of trigonometry.

After such a long time I came by some superb blog on trigonometric function and log scales, maths to be precise. It reminded me of my school days, thanks to my father when he used to ask us to solve trig and log problems via conventional means i.e. using log tables and papers. Feeling proud of the fact that I still know how to make my own trig table out of nothing. I don't know if our calculator/computer dependent generation has any idea how much fun is math.

Here is an excerpt from the blog,